There was once a simpler time in America. Sam Walton ruled the retail world with an iron fist and the only way sex toys made it into Walmart was in or on a shopper's person. Times have changed, my friends.
Take one wrong turn into the douche and laxatives aisle at Walmart these days, and your innocent family unit could be assaulted by an extensive array of vibrators, barrels of lube, and all manner of ungodly marital aides.
I know this is upsetting, but it's the unkempt world of 2018, in which we all must live.
To inspect these sexy Walmart wares of the devil for yourself (from the privacy of a secret browser window) CLICK HERE: walmart.com/dildos